it's a wonderful life
by hannahsviolets
Summary: Nibbler helps a hopeless Fry by showing him what life would have been like if he never existed.
1. Chapter 1

"Fry . . . how could you do this to us?"

"It was an accident! I didn't mean to, I swear," Fry stuttered, hoping that there was some way that his wife would take his side on this.

This though, was far fetched.

You see, Fry'd made about a million mistakes since he'd been arrived in the future twenty five years ago, but this one was probably the worst one yet. And by the worst one, he meant the stupidest one and that was really saying something.

He and Leela had gotten married twelve years previously and since then, they'd adopoted two kids, Gracie and Jonathan, and had one son of their own, Yancy. They'd lived a happy life, a much happier life than Fry ever could've asked for, but that had all changed recently. Planet Express had been forced to make some cutbacks because of the failing economy and with three children, Fry and Leela were hardly making ends meet. This led to them fighting, which was something they hadn't done since they'd gotten married. Things were incredibly unhappy all around – he'd even had to kick Bender out of the house against his wishes so that they didn't have to provide for him as well. This drama went on for about a month before finally, Fry's insecurities got the better of him and in a bout of bad decision making, he'd gambled to earn some extra cash. He'd gotten too cocky when he'd been on a hot streak and decided to raise the stakes. Now he owed thousands of dollars to the Don bot – none of which he had.

We start our story moments after Fry confessed the truth to Leela. The truth that he was being hunted down by the robot mafia, as well as the police since one of the other gamblers had reported him. They stood in their kitchen, Gracie practicing "Jingle Bell Rock" on the piano and Yancy and Jonathan singing along at the top of their lungs in the next room.

"How is that an accident?! You gambled money that we don't have away! You're either getting killed or going to prison!" Leela crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head.

"I just wanted to help!"

"You always do that," she said bitterly.

Fry raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"It means that when has you 'helping' ever actually helped? Every time you try to help, something bad happens to us!"

He couldn't help but be offended, mostly because she was right. Fry wasn't particularly skilled at anything, but he'd always thought that his one good quality was his ability to look out for people. Clearly, this was his worst because it never actually did anything.

"What are you gonna tell the kids?" was his response.

There were clear tears in Leela's eye as she leaned back against the kitchen table. She had nothing to say to this – how is anyone supposed to deliver such awful news to their children? Instead of a painful silence, the two were greeted by Yancy dancing into the room, slipping on the tile. Leela caught him in her arms and an irritated Fry scolded him, "What do you think you're doing, Yancy? You're gonna kill yourself on this damn tile!"

"I'm sorry, daddy," the eight year old said. After him, ran in Jonathan holding two handfuls of tinsel and throwing them into the air.

"MERRY XMAS!" Jonathan shouted in a voice meant to sound like Robot Santa.

"Jonathan, clean up that mess," said Leela without much anger in her voice.

"Aw, c'mon, it was Yancy's idea, not mine! Why do I have to do it?"

"Because your mother told you to! Just do as she says, and clean it up. Now!" Fry felt a sudden weight on his chest and left the room, trying to stop himself from yelling at his children anymore. It must've come as a surprise to them. Fry was always the fun parent who let them get away with everything, Leela was the strict one. That was just the way things were.

But as soon as he sat down on the couch, Gracie stopped playing and turned to face him. "Dad, so I know we've been over this, but do you think maybe I can still get just a _mini_ ship? It's not as expensive as the regular sized ones,"

"Gracie, it's Xmas Eve. Don't you think we got your presents already?"

"Well . . . I mean, I know money's been tight lately . . . but you said a few days ago that things were really looking up for us –"

"Forget what I said! Things never look up for anybody! You're fifteen years old, you'd think you'd be able to get that through your head by now! Now just go back to playing and shut the hell up!"

Fry regretted it the moment he saw his daughter's eyes well up. Leela and the boys must've heard him yelling because they were now standing in the doorway, Leela looking more disappointed in him then she'd ever seen him look.

"I hate you!" Gracie said after a brief silence, scurrying away into her bedroom.

Yancy followed behind her, while Leela and Jonathan stood standing. Jonathan was Gracie's blood brother, younger than her by only a few years, so it was natural he would take her side in situations like this over Fry's. "How dare you talk to her like that!"

"I didn't mean it," he sighed, feeling like that was his only excuse for anything right now.

"Then why'd you say it?"

Fry didn't answer, looking down at his hands and feeling completely ashamed.

The look Jonathan gave him was far worse than being sent to jail or murdered. It was the look that Fry had only seen him give to the guy who ran the orphanarium, the look that said "you're not doing a good job here." And it was that look alone that made him stand up and walk out of the house.

"Fry, where are you going?" Leela called him after him. He shut the door to their tiny home and ran down the street, just trying to get away. The brisk cold hair hit his face like small bullets, and it was the only real thing he could feel at the moment. Everythig just felt so completely hopeless. He felt numb, a feeling he hadn't felt in years.

He and Leela had worked on his depression since getting together and with her support, he'd thought that he had finally gotten through those feelings of worthlessness, but clearly, he'd been wrong. In just under a day, they were all rushing back, more powerful than ever.

Fry ran and ran until finally he reached the Planet Express building. Everyone had gone home for Xmas Eve and ever since the Chanukah Zombie had killed Robot Santa a few years back, there was no eminent threat to him – other than himself. Fry entered the building, passing the Professor's sleeping body on the couch and ran up the tower, until approaching the window's walk. He exited the place, standing on the balcony, overlooking the street beneath him.

He was done.

There was no point in anything anymore. He was probably going to die anyway, and when he did, their lack of income would cause Leela and the kids to go hungry. If he killed himself, the life insurance benefits would probably keep them fed. Leela would be much happier – she'd find some nice guy, maybe get married to him. The kids clearly all hated him too, they'd be better off without him. And it wasn't like any of his friends were going to miss him. He was just stupid old Fry to them.

"I love you, Leela. I love you, Yancy. I love you, Gracie. I love you, Jonathan," he muttered to himself, rubbing a tear off of his cheek as he moved to stand on top of the railing.

And then, as if out of a movie, a voice stopped him from going any further. "STOP!"

It was strong and familiar. Fry turned his head, to see Nibbler at his feet.

He groaned. "Go away, Nibbler. Can't you see I'm busy?"

"You're making a big mistake, Fry," the Nibblonian tugged at his jean until he moved away from the ledge.

"I'm making the right decision for once,"

"The right decision, huh? You really think killing yourself would help your family? Planet Express? Your friends?"

He shrugged. "Nobody needs me,"

"You're _really_ sure that's true?"

"Yes," it was a definite answer, one that Fry had always feared was that right answer, but had never truly admitted to himself. He sure as hell didn't think he'd be admitting it to Nibbler, of all people.

Nibbler nodded and motioned for Fry to bend down to his level. He rolled his eyes and did as told, "You surely do not realize your importance to the universe, Fry,"

"What importance? I'm a delivery boy with nothing to offer the world," he lowered his head, trying to avoid crying.

"And I'm just one Nibblonian out of millions. We all think we are insignificant, but at the end of the day, certain things could not exist without us,"

The only person who Fry could think of who wouldn't exist without him was Yancy, and even then, surely his son didn't want to exist in this world. A world where he had less money and nice things than the rest of his friends and his one eye made him an outcast amongst everyone. Fry couldn't imagine being that age and having all those issues – sure, he'd been picked on and had no friends, but he hadn't been desperately poor or half mutant.

"Trust me. Nobody would miss me,"

Nibbler sighed. "Do you really believe life would be better without you, Fry? What if you had never existed at all? How about then?"

He practically laughed. "Well, that'd be much better. Then Leela wouldn't even have to remember how much pain I caused her,"

"What if I told you I could make that happen?"

Fry had always known that Leela's faithful pet had some strange abilities, but being able to make him disappear from history? That was something he never even could've imagined. Still, the thought seemed rather comforting. He certainly wasn't happy living. Maybe he'd be better off – and his family'd be better off – if he was never even born.

"Then I'd tell you to do it!"

Nibbler nodded. "Alright, then, I did it,"

"What? Really? Just like that?"

"Just like that,"

Fry looked down at himself. He was still there, exactly as was. It didn't look like anything had really changed. "You're lying! You didn't do anything!"

"Didn't I? Check your license,"

He pulled his wallet from his back pocket to see no money (which really didn't mean anything) and a simple piece of paper. "See! Right here! Philip J. Fr – hey, where's my name? Where's my picture?"

That's all it was. A piece of laminated paper, no name, no picture, no address, no anything.

"Gone. I told you – you've never existed. There is no Philip J. Fry,"

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi friends! This is my Christmas president to you. Or Hannukah present. Or Kwanza present. Or whatever you celebrate present. Whatever you like! I hope you enjoy the beginning of this fic - I thought it would be perfect for Fry! Also, because Fry's memory was wiped when he saved the universe, this is not going the route of "nothing would exist without Fry" even though it wouldn't. Please review! xo**


	2. Chapter 2: Hermes

"But . . . but . . . what do you mean there's no Philip J. Fry? I'm standing right here,"

"You stand there as a stranger with no identity. You're not the man you were moments ago, because that man is gone. Wiped from existence,"

Fry stood up then, looking over the balcony in disbelief. Well, perhaps not disbelief. He believed that Nibbler had done it, but how could he have? He didn't feel any different, he didn't look any different. But the thought that he truly had been 'wiped from existence' lifted a big weight off of his shoulders. No more running from the mafia or the police, no more being unable to provide for his family. All the stress and pain he'd felt just minutes ago was gone.

"Well, good," was all he said in response.

Nibbler thinned his lips together, solemnly. "Don't you want to get out of here then, stranger? You don't work here, you aren't supposed to be here,"

Fry looked at the Planet Express building behind him. It also looked no different. Still, though, Nibbler was probably right. It'd be better to get out of here. He turned and made his way back into the building, Nibbler waddling closely behind him. They climbed down the stairs and entered the hangar, but instead of being greeted to the usual sight of the large Planet Express ship, there was nothing but wide-open space in front of him. Fry did a double take, but when he looked again, there was still nothing there.

"Nibbler, are you not seeing this?"

"Huh?"

Fry rubbed his eyes. "The ship, it's gone! I thought I saw it when I came up here, but I guess maybe I was just imagining things. Huh. That's weird, isn't it?"

"I suppose it is," said Nibbler.

Scruffy rolled his cart into the room, whistling an unfamiliar tune. He raised his eyebrows when he saw Fry, but didn't say anything, just kept on walking. If it had been anyone else, Fry might've thought it was weird, but this was Scruffy. He barely knew who he was anyway. "Bye, Scruffy!" Fry waved to him, cheerfully.

He and Nibbler left through the backdoor, walking down the back alley until they reached one of New New York's busiest streets. Fry was smiling brightly, admiring all the happy looking families exploring the streets on Xmas eve. He wished some of them a Merry Xmas, getting only a few muffled replies in response.

"Fry, don't you notice anything strange?" asked Nibbler after a few minutes.

"Strange, how?"

Nibbler said nothing, hoping that the dim man would pick up on it by himself. It took less time than Nibbler would've expected – when they approached Times Square, Fry finally said "Hey, where are all the hovercrafts? There's just cars here! Just like the twentieth century,"

"You were never born Fry," Nibbler repeated.

"Yeah, I know, but what does that have to do with anything?"

He stopped Fry from walking and climbed on top of his shoulder to explain things further. "You were never born, Fry, and because you were never born, you never slept with your grandmother and conceived your father. Since your father was never born, your brother was never born and he didn't have the son who would lead the journey to Mars. That expedition to Mars was the reason space travel and hover travel interest increased,"

Fry's expression was still blank.

Nibbler rolled his eyes, "There are no hover cars because you chose not to exist,"

That couldn't be right, Fry thought to himself. He was useless – useless, stupid Fry who would never amount to anything and he hadn't. Hover travel not being a thing couldn't have anything to do with him. It had to just be a coincidence – he needed to convince himself of that.

He shrugged and kept walking. Nibbler eyed him, wondering why this wasn't a big deal to the boyish man. Then again, most things weren't all that big to him. He didn't have the attention span or the intelligence to think big picture.

"Where are we going?" asked the small alien.

"I don't know!" he exclaimed, oddly cheerfully. "Wherever! I can do whatever! I don't have any commitments,"

"Don't you want to see your friends?" Nibbler questioned. He wanted this whole business to be over with now – he could usually get the naïve Fry to go along with things. It seemed like tonight wasn't going to be that night.

"What friends? I thought I didn't exist!"

"Touché,"

Fry lifted his face up, enjoying the feeling of the wind against his face. He felt so free.

"I can rob a Slurm machine! I can throw snowballs at the mayor! I can jump off the Vampire State Building!" he yelled, spinning in circles as passersby gave odd looks.

"You're not indestructible, Fry. You just have no identity,"

He stopped spinning. "So I can still get arrested and die?"

"Yes,"

"Damn it,"

"You see? Things aren't that fun,"

Fry huffed. "Why are you trying to ruin my fun, Nibbler? You're the one that suggested this,"

He didn't answer him. This was a good point, but he didn't want to reveal his master plan to Fry. He needed to figure this out by himself.

They walked down the street in silence, Nibbler watching Fry carefully.

And then, after a bit, they noticed someone sitting on the edge of the curb. There were always homeless people in New New York, so it wasn't all that out of the ordinary. It wasn't until they heard the man's voice that Fry stopped in his tracks.

Hermes Conrad sat there, looking very different than he had just this morning when Fry had seen him last. The usually clean-cut accountant had grown a beard, and a woolen cap covered with holes covered his head. He was bundled in a ski jacket and shivering. In his lap, he held a sign that read 'Will limbo for work.'

Fry gasped at the sight and hurried right over to him, dropping to his knees. "Hermes?!"

Hermes stood and jumped away from him, pulling a stick out from his pocket and shoving it in Fry's face. "Get away from me, street urchin!"

"Hermes, it's me! It's Fry! I work with you at Planet Express!"

The mention of the company seemed to snap him back into somewhat of a normal state. He sighed and put the stick back into his pocket. "Oh, Planet Express. What a lovely company that was. I sure do miss it,"

"What do you mean, you miss it? I was just there!"

Hermes grabbed his sign up from the ground. "I wish they'd tear that damned place down already. I don't need a reminder of what used to be,"

"But what does that mean?! What happened to it? Why are you alone? Where's Dwight? Where's Labarbara?"

Hermes turned back to him swiftly. "You know them? You've seen them?"

"Well, yeah. They picked you up from work yesterday,"

It took a few seconds to register and then Hermes grabbed Fry by the lapel of his jacket and pulled them together, nose to nose. "Why are you doing this? Huh?! Why are you lying? This isn't a joke! This is my life!"

It was such an un-Hermes like thing to say that it took Fry out of it. He'd forgotten that he didn't exist, that this Hermes had never met him before despite the decades they'd spent together. Fry took a deep breath and let it all out in one sentence, "I'm sorry . . . I guess I just thought you were someone else,"

Hermes shoved him off. "Damn right you did,"

Fry watched him stop his sign from flying off with the wind. Once he'd composed himself, he looked Fry up and down with disgust. "Get out of here! This is my corner! Go find your own!"

"Just – just where's Planet Express gone? What's happened to it?"

"Read a damn book," was Hermes's only response. He took the stick out of his pocket and began prodding at Fry.

Fry shooed him off and backed away slowly, staring at his former friend with shock. Upon running into a stranger, he turned around and started walking straight again. It was near impossible not to look back.

Turning the corner, Fry fell to the ground in confusion and hurt. Nibbler, who'd been silent for all of this, jumped up onto his leg.

"What's going on, Nibbler? Hermes is the best man I know and he's begging for a job on the side of the street? This can't be real life,"

"Oh, but is real life, Fry. Maybe no for you and me, but for everyone else, this is the only reality they've ever known,"

Fry's thoughts brought him first to Leela, the image of her smiling next to him in bed crossing his mind. He quickly pushed it away – he didn't even want to think about Leela right now.

"So then what happened? Why has Hermes's life fallen apart?"

"It all goes back to you. Everything always does."


End file.
